This week last year we were eagerly waiting to hear if we had been accepted into the Ethiopian adoption program. We were so excited, anxious and scared to death. At the time, we were informed the paperwork phase would take 4-6 months and the current wait time for a referral after paperwork was 7-11 months. In our naive optimism, we thought "Well, we'll be all over that paperwork and have it whipped out in 4 months and then surely it wouldn't take the full 11 months to get a referral...{insert wide-eyed, ridiculous grin}." I quickly learned the most talked about secret to adoption was so true...you do not have control of 95% of it. Sure, I had all our side of the paperwork done within the first month, then you wait...and wait...and wait on everyone else to do their part. It was almost 6 months to the day for us to finish our paperwork and become DTE (Dossier to Ethiopia). By that time, the "great Ethiopian adoption slowdown" had already begun and we knew those original time frames we had engrained in our minds were impossible. There was a little part of me that still held on to the notion we would be bringing home a baby in 2012...turns out we will, just not how we expected {more on that later}. On Friday we celebrate 6 months of being DTE, a wait that before would have been close to the end, is now not anywhere close.
Let's rewind though. After reluctantly accepting we would be waiting "an undetermined amount of time" for a referral, I had a rough few weeks. I know God's timing is perfect, I've heard it a 457 times, but I was really doubting it at that moment. I still struggle with it. Millions of orphans needing homes, thousands of families ready and waiting...what's the problem? Why should this be a process that takes YEARS? {don't feel the need to tell me all the reasons, I've heard them all and still can't wrap my brain around it}.
During this time our agency started accepting families into a concurrent family building program. Prior to this, if a family wanted to pursue a second adoption or pregnancy, you lost your place in the wait line. The new program would allow you to go through an application process with the agency as well as with your social worker to be approved to pursue one of these avenues while keeping your place in line. We had talked about the idea of 3 kids before, but always said that decision wouldn't be made until well after the adoption was complete. But here we were, in the land of uncertainties. Should we, shouldn't we, was this what our long wait was meant for, are we being impatient, why does 3 kids sound so scary right now? After a lot of prayer and emotionally draining discussions, we decided to move forward with the process and apply to pursue a concurrent pregnancy. Very soon after being accepted, we confirmed we were already expecting. Let me tell you when you have been immersed in adoption...realizing you will have a baby in a little less than 7 months is scary fast.
Today I heard the strong and healthy heartbeat of the baby we will be bringing home in 2012. I'm still struggling to settle in to a place of acceptance for how our path has changed. For one full year I have dreamed and prayed for this baby on the other side of the world that most likely isn't even a thought in their birth mother's mind yet. I don't like feeling as though she has been forgotten about...because she certainly hasn't in our minds. We now pray for our "babies" that we will be bringing home. She will just be coming home to 2 siblings instead of 1. Tyler now has to deal with me being paper pregnant and physically pregnant. Say a prayer for him as he handles a range of emotions that will undoubtedly be off the charts.
Let's rewind though. After reluctantly accepting we would be waiting "an undetermined amount of time" for a referral, I had a rough few weeks. I know God's timing is perfect, I've heard it a 457 times, but I was really doubting it at that moment. I still struggle with it. Millions of orphans needing homes, thousands of families ready and waiting...what's the problem? Why should this be a process that takes YEARS? {don't feel the need to tell me all the reasons, I've heard them all and still can't wrap my brain around it}.
During this time our agency started accepting families into a concurrent family building program. Prior to this, if a family wanted to pursue a second adoption or pregnancy, you lost your place in the wait line. The new program would allow you to go through an application process with the agency as well as with your social worker to be approved to pursue one of these avenues while keeping your place in line. We had talked about the idea of 3 kids before, but always said that decision wouldn't be made until well after the adoption was complete. But here we were, in the land of uncertainties. Should we, shouldn't we, was this what our long wait was meant for, are we being impatient, why does 3 kids sound so scary right now? After a lot of prayer and emotionally draining discussions, we decided to move forward with the process and apply to pursue a concurrent pregnancy. Very soon after being accepted, we confirmed we were already expecting. Let me tell you when you have been immersed in adoption...realizing you will have a baby in a little less than 7 months is scary fast.
Today I heard the strong and healthy heartbeat of the baby we will be bringing home in 2012. I'm still struggling to settle in to a place of acceptance for how our path has changed. For one full year I have dreamed and prayed for this baby on the other side of the world that most likely isn't even a thought in their birth mother's mind yet. I don't like feeling as though she has been forgotten about...because she certainly hasn't in our minds. We now pray for our "babies" that we will be bringing home. She will just be coming home to 2 siblings instead of 1. Tyler now has to deal with me being paper pregnant and physically pregnant. Say a prayer for him as he handles a range of emotions that will undoubtedly be off the charts.