Friday, May 20, 2016 8:51 a.m.
Sitting at my desk my phone starts to ring and the name "AWAA" appears on the screen and in an instant I stopped breathing and my heart started racing. Only under two circumstances in this phase of our adoption would our agency be calling: very good news or very bad news. And let's be honest...if you comb through my blog posts, especially the one penned just 4 days prior, things really haven't been painted with optimism.
Our family coordinator, Kelsey, greets me and asks if we have had any recent changes in health or within our home. I assured her I was having a mild heart attack at the time but nothing else new to report. Then came the words I have waited over 5 years to hear "This is your referral call." I have been reading blogs and posts for years trying to explain what it is like to finally get "The Call" and every adjective and exclamation mark and description is 100% true. I felt them all.
At that point I had stepped into a little photo room at our office and just dropped to the floor and started sobbing. The feeling of overwhelming excitement and complete relief was so similar to the seconds after giving birth to both boys I couldn't even believe it. I muttered some apologies for being unable to formulate words and she assured me to just take some time...we, after-all, had been waiting a long time for this moment.
She said she would like to conference in Tyler to the call and I blubbered that I had no idea how to do that and even if I did, I would never be successful at it right then. She of course did not expect me to actually do that and put me on hold to try and reach him. My mind at that moment was racing to the fact that he rarely answers his phone at work...especially if it is from an unknown number. He later told me that he picked it up, assumed it was a telemarketer, sat the phone back down, only to think twice and answer it to presumably tell them to not call again.
Then followed hearing our daughter's name for the first time and her story. According to my call log, it was 14 minutes long and I'm not sure I even heard 10% of what was said. I tried so hard to focus on her words but I could not get past the surrealism of the moment. Tyler said I was sniffing and sobbing and snorting so loudly over the line he just physically couldn't even hear what she was saying. Sorry (not sorry).
At the end we were told we would immediately receive an email with some pictures of her and all the information that had been shared (thank goodness!). Upon being asked if we had any questions at all, the only thing I said was "Does it have to be a cashier's check for this portion or a regular check?"
What in the world?!?!?! Really, that's all I had? Apparently so.
My inbox was up that instant and there she was. I saw the most adorable smile on the most perfect little face. The last 5 years of paperwork, tears, anxiety, frustrations and doubt started to become fuzzy. I would have done it all again in the moment.
I quickly sent Tyler the pictures and then we spent some time talking about what had just happened over the last half hour in complete shock and disbelief.
3 days removed and I'm still riding the waves of emotions. I have looked at her picture at least 4,576 times.
So far I haven't really gone to the point of realizing/accepting how far we still have to go until she is home. That will come and we will keep an update of that process as well.
Right now, we are just catching our breath and rejoicing in this answer to prayer.
Sitting at my desk my phone starts to ring and the name "AWAA" appears on the screen and in an instant I stopped breathing and my heart started racing. Only under two circumstances in this phase of our adoption would our agency be calling: very good news or very bad news. And let's be honest...if you comb through my blog posts, especially the one penned just 4 days prior, things really haven't been painted with optimism.
Our family coordinator, Kelsey, greets me and asks if we have had any recent changes in health or within our home. I assured her I was having a mild heart attack at the time but nothing else new to report. Then came the words I have waited over 5 years to hear "This is your referral call." I have been reading blogs and posts for years trying to explain what it is like to finally get "The Call" and every adjective and exclamation mark and description is 100% true. I felt them all.
At that point I had stepped into a little photo room at our office and just dropped to the floor and started sobbing. The feeling of overwhelming excitement and complete relief was so similar to the seconds after giving birth to both boys I couldn't even believe it. I muttered some apologies for being unable to formulate words and she assured me to just take some time...we, after-all, had been waiting a long time for this moment.
She said she would like to conference in Tyler to the call and I blubbered that I had no idea how to do that and even if I did, I would never be successful at it right then. She of course did not expect me to actually do that and put me on hold to try and reach him. My mind at that moment was racing to the fact that he rarely answers his phone at work...especially if it is from an unknown number. He later told me that he picked it up, assumed it was a telemarketer, sat the phone back down, only to think twice and answer it to presumably tell them to not call again.
Then followed hearing our daughter's name for the first time and her story. According to my call log, it was 14 minutes long and I'm not sure I even heard 10% of what was said. I tried so hard to focus on her words but I could not get past the surrealism of the moment. Tyler said I was sniffing and sobbing and snorting so loudly over the line he just physically couldn't even hear what she was saying. Sorry (not sorry).
At the end we were told we would immediately receive an email with some pictures of her and all the information that had been shared (thank goodness!). Upon being asked if we had any questions at all, the only thing I said was "Does it have to be a cashier's check for this portion or a regular check?"
What in the world?!?!?! Really, that's all I had? Apparently so.
My inbox was up that instant and there she was. I saw the most adorable smile on the most perfect little face. The last 5 years of paperwork, tears, anxiety, frustrations and doubt started to become fuzzy. I would have done it all again in the moment.
I quickly sent Tyler the pictures and then we spent some time talking about what had just happened over the last half hour in complete shock and disbelief.
3 days removed and I'm still riding the waves of emotions. I have looked at her picture at least 4,576 times.
So far I haven't really gone to the point of realizing/accepting how far we still have to go until she is home. That will come and we will keep an update of that process as well.
Right now, we are just catching our breath and rejoicing in this answer to prayer.